'The hills were alive with the sound of my moaning...'

On Monday, we met up at the demense once more, we had a chat about the previous Saturday's run and put some time in training for this Saturday's run, the Killarney 10 mile. I really don't think any amount of training could have prepared me!!!
Strangely enough, I do believe it was the most relaxed I've ever been before a run. I slept like a log, the night before a run I usually toss and turn and wake at first light, feeling like I haven't slept a wink. Not this Saturday I woke refreshed, I ate the breakfast, loaded the car and headed into Killarney.

So relaxed my eyes are half closed..

The reason for my relaxed state was because my aim was just to finish. That's all just to finish. I knew about the uphill and in fairness if you have ever glanced at this blog before, you will know my aversion to anything vertical! So why, do it? I hear you ask. Well the run was being held to raise funds to help the construction of a running track here in Killarney which will be of benefit to the whole community, that sums up why.
As I collected my number and tech shirt, I had to pass the finishing line and I did have a moment where I thought I hope I see it later. 
I met up with Bernie we headed toward start line. Tina arrived although not running,  herself and Susan were the cheer squad for the day. I headed to the bathroom and then came back to the girls. That was the one thing about Saturday between collecting number and start there was a lot of time to hang around also we were unsure of the start but it was at Ballydowney Roundabout. As we arrived at the roundabout, Michelle and Anna strolled up. People were steadily arriving now. As usual we took a before pic.

As we took off, I was relaxed, the first mile or so was lovely and then the roads incline became more noticeable. As I hit Madams Hill, I headed up walking and then for the next mile or so I ran/walked. As I hit the Aghadoe graveyard, I had a wobble and said no I'm done. As people passed, My old 'I don't want to be the last, or the slowest' thoughts crept in and I stopped still. Took a deep breath looked at the road behind me and thought F*** it, I'm finishing! And I powered on..
I took some water at the stop but didn't take any oranges even though did look lovely.
As I passed the Aghadoe Heights Hotel, I did think shame there is no one here to take a picture. I will try take one at a later date and share it, for those of you who may not have seen this view. It's amazing! (I should have taken one..)
From there was a good downhill stretch, great, Yes and No!  My thighs were burning as I reached the Golden Nugget, which I would pay for later. I was smiling and coherent which is always a good sign for me when doing a run. As, I entered the Fossa Way I was on familiar territory.   I sweat alot and for some reason I felt a real need for a fizzy drink and so rang John to see could he have one at the finish which was less than 3 miles away. Something to look forward to.. As I passed the playground, the legs felt like lead, as I headed up towards the demense entrance I saw Bernie. I knew I had yet to climb the Knockreer hill (which is torturous to me on the best of days) but today with heavy legs. It was UGHHHHHH!!!!  (No words people, no words).
Bernie offered to stay with me, but I declined I had to push on alone. The next mile or so passed on and as I headed up the canal, I knew I would get there.

As an aside, Bernie offering to stay with me even though she had completed 10 faster miles already or Anna doing Knockreer Hill twice to urge Michelle on, this is what a running group is all about. We really got lucky with this group Brenda created...

Heading down the Bishops path, I was run/walking, (More walking, I must confess. I know your surprised..) then in front of me I saw Susan, John and Tina.

I picked up the pace and headed to the finish line and didn't stop until I crossed the line. And, I was glad that it was over! I told the girls I never wanted to go up a hill again. And at the moment, I truely meant it!

I had completed the 10 miles. It was the first finish line this year that I genuinely felt happy after crossing.  I may even attempt it again next year if they get rid of a hill..or two!! Yes, I could have done better but I had battled one or two of my own inner voices along the way and those little battles will improve my ability more in the long run (no pun intended). 

Happy to be done!

So as my inner voice conflict will no doubt continue, this is what I know after the last few months:
I will always be an end of the pack runner, the runner who ends before the walkers or on a bad day after the walkers. But I will finish! This does not mean my ability is anything less than those who run faster or further, it just means it may take me a little while longer to get there.  I always strive to push on forwards even if sometimes it looks like I'm standing still. I will run (with some pace, if possible) across the finish line. I will improve. I have improved. And above all else, I won't give up.